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We, as parents, are not perfect. And let’s face it, I have yet to meet a mom or dad who truly has it all together. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, if you feel compelled to do so, here’s how to compose an apology letter to your children. 

At the same time?

I learned that I needed to stop apologizing.

I needed to stop saying that I was sorry for not being the perfect mom.

I’ve realized that I’m not perfect and though I may strive for perfection, being perfect is just not possible.

I’m an imperfect mother though I may try my best and today, I want to share with you some tips on motherhood and coming to terms with being an imperfect mother.

In fact, I have come to embrace the fact that I’m not perfect and that has allowed be to be a better mother.

Why write an apology letter to your child?

Honestly, this is one of those things that you could just want to save for your child.

Just like writing them a weekly letter, or a monthly letter, or sending them emails to an account that they can’t access until they’re older.

This could also serve as a reminder to them when they are parents. And when they are facing the difficulties and struggles that you faced.

When you can remind them that yes, once they were a strong willed child and that yes that they have a strong willed child of their own.

What to Include in an Apology Letter to Your Children

An apology letter doesn’t have to be something that’s elaborate as long as it’s from the heart. Your kids will know what you mean.

And you don’t have to give this letter to them right away.

In fact, you could start keeping a journal of these letters, similar to a gratitude journal, on those days for when parenting is just downright difficult.

If you wanted to, you could use a cute stationary set like this purple or pink unicorn letter set.

(Click on the image to download or Download the unicorn letter set here)

Examples of An Apology Letter to a Child

I'm an imperfect mother and I'm okay with that. But I'm still going to issue this apology to my children

An open letter and apology to my children from their imperfect mother.

To all of my children:

I’m sorry that I’m not perfect, but in my defense, I’ve never claimed to be.

Yes, as you get older, your image of me will shatter or at least crack. And as much as I would love to stay on that pedestal that you seem to have elevated me on.. I won’t.

I’ll try, but I will never be as great as you imagined me to be. And I’m sorry for that. I would love to remain perfect in your eyes, because goodness knows it’s nice to be perfect. But, sadly, I’m not.

Please do remember that even though I’m not perfect- that doesn’t mean that I’m not right.

I’m trying my best, there’s no manual for parenthood and I’m going to make mistakes.

I’ve already made a few and I don’t want any of you to suffer for that. Please know that from now until my dying breath, I love you all very much. I will always love you and you will always be my babies.

In time, however, you’ll learn that perfection is not something to strive for. Yes, it may be a nice dream but striving for perfection will ultimately drive you crazy. And not always in a good way.

To my oldest child:

I’m sorry that I screwed up as a teenager and that you had such a difficult beginning.

Please know that you are my inspiration and my reminder to never give up. That you can defy all of the odds, because guess what kiddo- you did! Your doctor gave you a 50/50 chance of surviving your first night and look at you now.

I couldn’t be more proud of what you’ve accomplished and it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow up into an amazing young man.

Do know that living with your grandmother, while an incredibly difficult decision for me, was in the best interest for you. By growing up with her, you got the attention that you deserved. I don’t love you any less and I hope you know that every day.

To my middle child:

Sweet B, I’m sorry that your father and I couldn’t make it work.

We did try, please believe that and know that it wasn’t because of you. We had issues and we had a multitude of problems that we just couldn’t work past. We both still love you very, very much.

I don’t know how much you understand what’s going on around you, but just because you can’t communicate it doesn’t mean that you don’t understand.

You are a very inspiring young woman and I am absolutely blessed to call you my daughter. I know that there are some days that it’s difficult but we’re both trying.

You do great things, Sweet B, and you are such a light in my life. And it doesn’t matter what people may say or think about you, ignore those dirty looks that you may get when we’re out in public (leave that to me, because I’ll handle that in my own way). You are unique and special in so many ways and I could only hope that the people who judge you could have as a big and as loving of a heart and soul as you.

To my youngest:

Little Squeaker, well, maybe I’ll be sorry for your nickname because I’m sure I’ll be calling you that well into your teenage years.

Mostly, I want to apologize to you because of the insane amount of pressure that you have on you.

Please understand that mommy will do her best to keep this in check, and that daddy has promised to help, because it’s through no fault of your own that you have this pressure. A lot of mommy’s hopes and dreams for having a child that can do regular childhood things (Girl Scouts, after school sports, etc.) are on your shoulders.

Understand that it was passed on when your older sister got her autism diagnosis (because it was previously on her). And I’m sorry for that. I don’t want you to grow up with that kind of pressure because it’s just not fair. It’s not fair to you or your sister.

I know I’m not perfect and I know that I’m bound to have my fair share of mistakes and misjudgments. But I’m trying. And we’ll learn as we go. You’ll all end up teaching me just as much as I try and teach you. I love you all dearly and I always will.



An apology to my children from their imperfect mother.

Linking up to: Manic Monday’s Blog Hop

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Digital Product Creator at Kori at Home
Kori is a late diagnosed autistic/ADHD mom. She is currently located in Albany, NY where she is raising a neurodiverse family. Her older daughter is non-speaking autistic (and also has ADHD and Anxiety) and her youngest daughter is HSP/Gifted. A blogger, podcaster, writer, product creator, and coach; Kori shares autism family life- the highs, lows, messy, and real. Kori brings her own life experiences as an autistic woman combined with her adventures in momming to bring you the day-to-day of her life at home. Kori is on a mission to empower moms of autistic children to make informed parenting decisions with confidence and conviction.

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Robin (Masshole Mommy)
Robin (Masshole Mommy)
9 years ago

That was a great read. Nobody is perfect and we are all just trying to do our best for the kids.

9 years ago

Hi Kori,
Great letter to your kids. 🙂 As you know, I am big on writing letters to Shawn and I think that it’s ok to mostly write to your youngest but certainly don’t forget the others at times. Have a wonderful day! Hugs

9 years ago

We aim to be perfect, but that is never the case! I am sure you are doing your best like we all are.

Our Family World
9 years ago

I loved reading this and thank you for the reminder. Nobody is perfect but we tend to forget that in the daily grind

Jaime Nicole
9 years ago

These are sweet letters! Thank you for sharing. None of us are perfect 🙂 and that’s what makes us perfect.

9 years ago

Beautiful post, Kori! I can see writing letters to our kids as therapeutic in a way, I think I might give it a try as well.

Misty Battle
Misty Battle
9 years ago

No parent is perfect. We are all human and make mistakes. It is the love we give our children that stays with them forever. Great read today.

Liz Mays
9 years ago

What heartfelt expressions you wrote. I know this will mean a lot to your three kids!

Adin Blankenship
9 years ago

that is so sweet. What wonderful letters you have to your kids. I do agree with no parents are perfect, but we aim for nothing but great things for our kids. We all are different and we all raise our kids differently. We sure do learn a lot from our kids about life everyday. Thanks for sharing! I am sure you are doing just fine at being a parent. 🙂

Yona Williams
9 years ago

What a BEAUTIFUL post and letter to your kids…they are very lucky to have a Mom who strives to be her best, but also acknowledges all of the bumps along the way. Wow Kori, you write some pretty deep posts on your blog.

eliz frank
eliz frank
9 years ago

You are a terrific mom and you did the best you could. Parenting is not about perfection anyway. Loved your sweet letters.

9 years ago

I love the idea of writing and saving letters for your children!

9 years ago

As mothers we always feel as though we are suppose to be perfect, when it is impossible to do so. Thanks for linking up at the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party.

2 years ago

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