As an individual, I was never blessed with a lot of patience. It’s just how I’ve always been. Over time, I’ve learned that some situations will definitely call for having more patience. And as a mom, I’ve learned that having patience is of utmost importance.
With my autistic daughter, it seems that I need patience in abundance. Not just for her, but to also parent my neurotypical daughter. This was a tough pill for me to swallow even if it may seem simple.
After discovering my own neurodivergence, I was better able to understand why I was losing my patience so quickly.So what do I do on those days when my patience is thin? What are you supposed to do when your patience runs out?
Have you ever questioned your parenting skills?
Whether you’re a stay at home mom, a work at home mom, or work outside of the home; sometimes it may be difficult to appreciate what we have.
We may question if motherhood is really for us and we may find ourselves questioning our parenting skills as we tip toe through the piles of clothing and toys on the floor. Do we dare to take a sniff test or do we just proceed as usual?
We may find ourselves wishing and wanting for something else or something more.
Sometimes our child(ren) may be particularly difficult and it might be at those times that you start to see a miniature version of yourself and you wonder how you’re both going to survive until this child becomes an adult.
It’s on those days- those days that we’re searching for that last drop of patience; that we should be celebrating the joy of motherhood and focusing on the positive.
Chances are likely that we’ve all been there and that we’ve all had that one moment that could potentially break us and send us spiraling into a tantrum right along with our precious toddler.
We’ve all had that one day where we just want to quit this parenting business or maybe just run away for awhile. And it could be one big thing or several little things or a combination of things that got us to this point.
But it’s at these moments, when we feel like we’re at the end of our patience, that we should be celebrating the joy of motherhood. Beyond just celebrating the joy, we should reclaim the joy.
So what happens when your patience runs out?
Reflect on the happier moments, remember the good times, think back to something about your child that makes you laugh or smile. If you have school aged children, look back on their art projects and homemade gifts.
Take a minute or however long you can, to reflect back. Remind yourself that this moment will pass.
Of course we love them unconditionally but that doesn’t mean that we won’t get frustrated with them. And it doesn’t mean that they won’t get frustrated with us at some point, either. Sometimes it’s just bound to happen.
Our children, as they grow, will test the limits of our patience and push the boundaries.
They will test the limits and attempt to go beyond the borders that we have so carefully crafted to keep them safe. Just as we did to our own parents, our children will do the same to us. We will recall, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with tears, just how prophetic our parents words were.
Maybe we’ll even want to share a glass of wine with our parents and thank them for putting up with all that we put them through. In fact, calling your parents out of the blue to express your gratitude may not be such a bad idea.
Connect with your mom-friends and vent. If you bottle every little thing up, your stress levels are only going to increase.
How to Combat Mom Stress Without the Mom Guilt
When was the last time you had lunch with some girl friends, or went on a girl’s night out? When was the last time you went on a romantic weekend getaway with your spouse? If you can’t remember, we definitely have to talk.
It’s so easy to fall into the mommy guilt trap. We feel guilty if we take time for ourselves, so we end up taking care of everyone in the family but us. It’s easy to lose ourselves in the quest to become SuperMom. Along the way we get stressed out and aggravated.
It’s important to do something just for us to stay balanced moms. Here are three incredibly easy ways for you to get started on your journey to rediscover you.
Spend time with your spouse or partner
Spend a romantic weekend with your spouse – anywhere but at home. Go away for a romantic weekend with your spouse a few times a year. Rekindle your passion for each other and feel in love again, instead just partners in dealing with the everyday “stuff’ involved in raising kids.
Go on a date every week. Get a sitter once a week and go on a date with your significant other. Spend some time reconnecting with each other. If you have an activity that you both enjoy, take a class together.
Do something every week to pamper yourself. Go get a new haircut. Visit your favorite nail salon for a manicure, pedicure or to get your nails done. Call your favorite day spa and schedule a facial. Get a massage.
If you are on a budget, pamper yourself at home. Send dad and the kids to the park. Take a hot bubble bath and paint you toenails. Honey makes a quick facial. Place a cloth in warm water and apply to your face to open the pores. Smear on honey, and leave on for 15 to 30 minutes. Rinse off with warm water.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
You can keep a gratitude journal for yourself or memory journal to remember the good things. Look back on this when you’re stressed. It can be a written journal, one that you keep online, or a scrapbook. You could even make a memory book with your kids.
Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself a few times a week. Self-care is an important, and often overlooked, aspect of balancing life.
Your kids will appreciate it when they get a balanced and fun mom in return. You will be more relaxed, happier and actually be able to enjoy your family. After all, that’s why you had kids in the first place, didn’t you?
Try one of these 50 Calm Down Methods for additional help.
So on those days that our children are testing us, on those days when we don’t want to even think about another load of laundry, or when dinner will be done; let us remember to celebrate the joy of motherhood.
How do you reclaim the joy in motherhood?
From an autistic autism mom to you
The Autism Family Guide is your shortcut to autism parenting.
How do I know?
Because friend, the resources in this toolkit are lifechanging.
Create routines with ease, calming strategies at your fingertips, and more.