Understanding Early Autism Signs
That little flutter in your heart. The one that’s a mix of wonder and worry as you watch your toddler play. You’re noticing little quirks, things that make you pause. Maybe it’s the way they intensely focus on the spinning wheel of a toy car, or perhaps they don’t turn around when you call their name. And then, the Google search begins.
If you’ve landed here, take a deep breath. You’re in a safe space. My name is Kori, and this corner of the internet is a place for gentle guidance, practical support, and zero judgment. You’re worried, and that worry comes from a place of deep love for your child. That makes you a wonderful parent.
This guide is not meant to diagnose your child. It’s not a scary checklist to dread, but a gentle, organized way to observe and understand. It’s a starting point, a way to gather your thoughts before talking with professionals who can give you real answers. Let’s walk through this together.
What Are the Early Signs of Autism in Toddlers?
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) affects social skills, communication, and behavior. Some early signs of autism in toddlers include:
Social & Communication Signs
One of the first places parents often notice differences is in how their toddler interacts—or doesn’t interact—with the world around them. Communication is more than just words; it’s about connection. Here are some things you might be observing.
- Limited or No Eye Contact: Your toddler might avoid looking you in the eye. It might feel like they’re looking through you or just past you.
- Doesn’t Respond to Their Name: By 9-12 months, most babies will turn their head when they hear their name. If your toddler consistently doesn’t respond, it’s worth noting.
- Doesn’t Point or Use Gestures: Pointing is a huge developmental milestone! It’s how a child says, “Hey, look at what I’m looking at!” You might notice your child doesn’t point at things they want or things they find interesting. They also might not wave “bye-bye” or clap their hands when prompted.
- Doesn’t Share Enjoyment: Think about when a toddler sees a dog and immediately looks to their parent, smiling, to share that joy. Autistic toddlers may not do this. They might experience joy, but they don’t instinctively look to share that moment with you.
- Prefers to Play Alone: While many toddlers engage in “parallel play” (playing alongside, but not with, other kids), an autistic toddler may seem to be in their own world, showing little interest in interacting with parents, siblings, or other children.
- Doesn’t Engage in Pretend Play: By 18-24 months, many toddlers start simple pretend play, like feeding a doll or talking on a toy phone. Autistic toddlers often prefer activities that are more repetitive and may not initiate or understand pretend play.
Behavioral & Developmental Signs
Your toddler’s behaviors and developmental path are another piece of the puzzle. These are often some of the most visible signs and can be related to a need for routine and predictability. Remember, all children develop at their own pace, but we are looking for a consistent pattern of several of these signs.
- Repetitive Behaviors (Stimming): This is a big one for many. This can look like hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, spinning in circles, or lining up toys obsessively. This is often called “stimming,” and it’s a way for your child to self-soothe or regulate their sensory system.
- Intense Interests or “Favorite” Things: Your child might have an unusually intense interest in a specific object (like a specific spoon) or topic (like train schedules). This goes beyond a typical toddler’s favorite toy.
- Insistence on Sameness and Routine: Does a different route home from daycare cause a meltdown? Does the blue cup instead of the red cup ruin breakfast? Autistic children often thrive on routine and can become very distressed by small changes.
- Unusual Reactions to Sights, Sounds, and Textures: We’ll dive into this more in the next section, but this can manifest as a behavior. For example, a child might cover their ears at loud noises or refuse to wear certain types of clothing.
- Developmental Delays: This could include delays in speech, motor skills, or learning. Sometimes, a child might have had a few words and then lost them, which is known as regression. This is a significant indicator among the 2 year old autism signs.
It’s easy to see one of these signs and feel a jolt of anxiety. But what if your child is just a little reserved? We have another post that explores this very topic that you might find helpful: Is My Child Autistic or Just Shy?.
Sensory Sensitivity Signs
Imagine if the volume of the world was turned all the way up, the lights were blindingly bright, and the tag on your shirt felt like sandpaper. For many autistic toddlers, this is their reality. Sensory sensitivities are a core aspect of autism for many.
- Auditory Sensitivity (Sound): Your toddler might be extremely distressed by everyday sounds like a vacuum cleaner, a blender, or even public toilets flushing. They might cover their ears or cry inconsolably.
- Visual Sensitivity (Sight): They could be fascinated by lights, spinning objects, or reflections. Or, they might be overwhelmed in brightly lit or visually “busy” environments like a grocery store.
- Tactile Sensitivity (Touch): This is very common. Your child might despise having their hands dirty, refuse certain foods because of their texture, dislike the feeling of certain clothes, or recoil from gentle pats on the back.
- Oral Sensory Seeking: You might notice your child chewing on non-food items like their shirt collar, toys, or their own fingers long past the typical teething stage.
- Under-sensitivity (Hyposensitivity): It can also go the other way. A child might seem to have a very high pain tolerance, enjoy rough-and-tumble play more than others, or constantly seek out strong sensory input by crashing into things or wanting to be squeezed tightly.
At What Age Do the Signs of Autism Typically Appear?
🚼 6-12 months:
- Limited or no eye contact
- Lack of social smiles
- Minimal response to name
- No back-and-forth gestures like waving or pointing
🍼 12-18 months:
- No spoken words
- Rarely engages in shared attention (e.g., pointing to an object and looking at a caregiver)
- Prefers repetitive motions like spinning or flapping hands
👶 18-24 months:
- No meaningful two-word phrases
- Doesn’t engage in pretend play (e.g., feeding a toy doll)
- Becomes distressed by routine changes or sensory stimuli
Common Myths About Autism in Toddlers
🚫 “All autistic toddlers avoid eye contact.” → Some do, but others make eye contact inconsistently or only with familiar people.
🚫 “Autistic toddlers don’t show affection.” → Many autistic children express affection in different ways, like bringing a favorite toy to a parent.
🚫 “A child who talks can’t be autistic.” → Some autistic toddlers have advanced vocabulary but struggle with social communication.
How Can I Tell If My Toddler Has Autism or Just a Speech Delay?
It can be difficult to differentiate between a speech delay and autism, but here are key differences:
✔ Speech Delay → Child still uses gestures, makes eye contact, and engages socially.
✔ Autism → Speech delay comes with limited non-verbal communication, social avoidance, and repetitive behaviors.
If you’re unsure, a speech-language evaluation can help clarify.
What Should I Do If I Suspect My Toddler Has Autism?
If you observe multiple signs, don’t wait—early intervention is key. Here’s what to do:
✅ Track behaviors → Keep a journal of concerns.
✅ Consult your pediatrician → Ask about developmental screenings.
✅ Seek early intervention → Speech therapy, occupational therapy, and ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) can help.
✅ Connect with support groups → Parenting a child with autism can feel overwhelming, but community support can be invaluable.
What NOT to Do If You Suspect Autism
❌ Ignore the signs. Many parents hope their child will “grow out of it,” but early intervention is crucial.
❌ Compare your child to others. Autism presents differently in every child.
❌ Wait for a doctor to bring it up. Parents are often the first to notice concerns.
What to Do If You’re Worried (Your Next Steps)
Okay, you’ve read through the lists, and you’re nodding along to a few—or maybe many—of these points. The feeling in your stomach might be twisting a little tighter. Let’s pause and breathe. Your worry is valid. Now, let’s channel that worry into gentle, productive action.
- Observe and Document: Start a simple notebook or use the notes app on your phone. When you see a behavior that concerns you, jot it down. Note what happened, when it happened, and what was going on at the time. This isn’t for score-keeping; it’s to create a clear picture for when you talk to a professional. Vague feelings of “something is off” are harder to act on than “He has a meltdown every time we go to the grocery store when the music is loud.”
- Trust Your Gut: You know your child better than anyone on this planet. If you feel something needs to be looked into, it does. Period. Don’t let anyone brush off your concerns—not your well-meaning mother-in-law, not a friend, and not even a doctor. You are your child’s best advocate.
- Focus on Connection, Not Correction: This is so important. Your child is not “misbehaving” when they flap their hands or have a meltdown over a broken cracker. They are communicating a need or a feeling of being overwhelmed. Right now, focus on connecting with them in their world. If they are lining up cars, sit down and line up cars with them. Enter their world before you ask them to enter ours.
- Explore Our Resources: You don’t have to wait for a diagnosis to start helping your child. We have a whole library of Free Printables for Autistic Children that can help with routines, emotions, and sensory activities.
When and How to Talk to Your Pediatrician
Making that phone call can feel heavy. But it’s the most important next step you can take. Arming yourself with information will make the conversation easier and more effective.
When to Call: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental screening for all children at 9, 18, and 24 or 30 months. Specific autism screening is recommended at the 18- and 24-month check-ups. If you have concerns at any time, even between these appointments, make a call. Don’t wait. Early intervention is key, and it can make a world of difference.
How to Have the Conversation:
- Schedule a Specific Appointment: When you call, say, “I have some concerns about my child’s development, and I’d like to schedule an appointment specifically to discuss them.” This ensures you have more time than a standard sick visit.
- Bring Your Notes: This is where your observation journal comes in. Instead of saying, “I think he might have autism,” you can say, “I’ve noticed he doesn’t respond to his name, he avoids eye contact, and he lines up his toys for hours. I’m concerned about these early signs of autism.”
- Ask for a Referral: The goal of this appointment is not necessarily a diagnosis from your pediatrician. The goal is to get a referral to a specialist, such as a developmental pediatrician, a child psychologist, or a neurologist, who can conduct a formal evaluation. Ask directly: “Could you provide a referral for a developmental evaluation?”
- Be Persistent: If you feel your concerns were dismissed, it is okay to seek a second opinion. Remember, you are your child’s expert.
This journey of a thousand questions starts with a single step: observation. You are taking that step right now, and you’re doing it with love and courage. No matter what the answers are, your child is the same wonderful little person they were yesterday. You’ve got this.
What to Do If Your Pediatrician Dismisses Your Concerns
- Seek a second opinion. Some doctors may take a “wait and see” approach, but early intervention is crucial.
- Request a referral for a developmental specialist. A pediatric neurologist or psychologist can provide a comprehensive evaluation.
- Use online screening tools. The M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) can help identify risk factors.
Can Autism Be Diagnosed in Toddlers, and How Is It Diagnosed?
Yes! Autism can be diagnosed in toddlers through developmental screenings and comprehensive evaluations:
🩺 Developmental Screening → Your pediatrician assesses language, behavior, and motor skills.
🔬 Comprehensive Evaluation → Conducted by a developmental specialist, child psychologist, or neurologist.
📝 Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS) → A structured test for autism diagnosis.
If you have concerns but your doctor dismisses them, seek a second opinion or contact an early intervention program.
Are There Early Signs of Autism in Babies Younger Than 12 Months?
Some parents report noticing signs before their child’s first birthday:
- Rarely smiles in social interactions
- Minimal or no eye contact
- Doesn’t respond to their name
- Unusual body movements (stiffening, arching back, repetitive motions)
While not always a sign of autism, these behaviors warrant monitoring and discussion with a pediatrician.
How Reliable Are Early Autism Screenings for Toddlers?
Screenings are a starting point but not a definitive diagnosis. If your child fails a screening, a specialist should conduct a more detailed evaluation.
Early screenings are valuable because early diagnosis = early support!
What Are the Benefits of Early Intervention for Toddlers with Autism?
Research shows that early intervention can improve:
🗣 Communication skills → Speech therapy helps with expressive & receptive language.
🤝 Social interactions → Therapy teaches eye contact, turn-taking, and joint attention.
💡 Adaptive behaviors → Occupational therapy improves daily skills and sensory processing.
The earlier therapy begins, the better the long-term outcomes.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing the early signs of autism in toddlers can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone. If you have concerns, trust your instincts and seek professional guidance. Early intervention makes a significant difference in helping children develop crucial skills.
💡 Want more support? Explore our resources on autism parenting, sensory strategies, and early intervention.
Parenting an autistic child comes with unique challenges—but the right tools make it easier! Grab free budgeting checklists, emergency plans, and advocacy printables inside the Autism Parenting Library today!
📌 Click Here to Get Free Autism Parenting Resources!
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