As the parent of an autistic child, there are many things that I have studied, read about, and looked into. One of those things was raising an autistic girl. And moreover, it was about learning to recognize the signs of autism in girls.
Why Autism in Girls Is Often Missed
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has historically been diagnosed more frequently in boys, leading to significant underdiagnosis in girls. The reasons for this include:
✔ Camouflaging Behaviors → Many autistic girls learn to “mask” their symptoms by mimicking social interactions.
✔ Subtle Repetitive Behaviors → Instead of obvious stimming (like hand-flapping), girls may engage in small, unnoticed repetitive actions.
✔ Different Special Interests → Girls often have intense interests in socially acceptable topics, such as books, animals, or celebrities, making their behaviors seem “normal.”
✔ Diagnostic Criteria Bias → Many autism assessments are based on how autism presents in boys, leading to misdiagnosis or delayed diagnosis in girls.
Understanding these unique presentations is crucial for timely support and intervention.
Common Signs of Autism in Girls
While every autistic child is unique, some common signs in girls include:
🚩 Social Communication Differences
- Prefers structured or one-on-one interactions over large social groups.
- Struggles with interpreting facial expressions, tone of voice, and sarcasm.
- May appear “shy,” “quiet,” or “socially anxious” rather than obviously struggling.
- Observes social interactions rather than participating in them.
- Example: A girl may mimic social behaviors she sees in others without fully understanding them.
🚩 Sensory Sensitivities & Emotional Regulation
- Overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, or certain textures.
- Struggles with emotional outbursts, often after masking all day at school.
- Engages in “small, unnoticed stims” (playing with hair, tapping fingers, or doodling repetitively).
- Has extreme reactions to minor changes in routine or environment.
- Example: A girl may cry or become withdrawn after a stressful day due to sensory overload, even if she appeared fine earlier.
🚩 Executive Function Challenges
- Difficulty planning, organizing, and completing tasks.
- Struggles with time management and often feels overwhelmed by schedules.
- May have perfectionist tendencies that lead to anxiety or frustration when things don’t go as planned.
- Example: A girl may hyperfocus on one task but struggle to complete multi-step assignments at school.
🚩 Intense Special Interests
- Becomes highly focused on specific topics (e.g., mythology, animals, TV shows) and can talk about them for hours.
- Repeats information about a favorite subject but may struggle with back-and-forth conversation.
- May prefer books or fictional characters over real-life social interactions.
- Example: A girl might memorize and recite entire movie scripts but struggle to hold a conversation with peers.
🚩 Late or Missed Diagnosis
- Many autistic girls receive diagnoses in adolescence or adulthood, often after struggling with mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or eating disorders.
- They may first be diagnosed with ADHD, social anxiety, or OCD before an autism diagnosis is considered.
- Example: A teenager diagnosed with anxiety might later discover her struggles stem from undiagnosed autism.
How Masking Impacts Autistic Girls
One of the biggest reasons autism goes unnoticed in girls is masking—the ability to suppress or mimic behaviors to fit in socially.
✔ What Masking Looks Like:
- Forcing eye contact despite discomfort.
- Memorizing social scripts instead of engaging naturally.
- Copying peers’ behaviors to blend in.
- Smiling or laughing when unsure how to respond.
✔ Consequences of Masking:
- Increased exhaustion and social burnout.
- Higher risk of anxiety and depression.
- Difficulty with self-identity and self-acceptance.
By understanding masking, parents and educators can support autistic girls in authentic self-expression rather than forcing them to conform.
ADHD and Autism in Girls: The Overlapping Signs
MaMany girls who are autistic also have ADHD, but because the signs of ADHD in girls are often misunderstood, they are frequently dismissed as “just being a daydreamer” or “emotional.”
✔ Similarities Between Autism and ADHD in Girls:
- Difficulty with executive function (staying organized, managing time, following multi-step directions).
- Sensory sensitivities (overwhelmed by noise, touch, or visual stimuli).
- Social struggles (misinterpreting social cues, feeling different from peers).
- Hyperfocus on interests (intense fascination with a subject, losing track of time).
✔ Differences Between Autism and ADHD in Girls:
- ADHD → More impulsivity, fidgeting, talking excessively.
- Autism → More preference for routines, social withdrawal, and difficulty with unstructured activities.
Because these two conditions frequently co-exist, it’s important to evaluate both when seeking a diagnosis
Why Getting a Diagnosis Matters
Many girls who go undiagnosed struggle with self-doubt, mental health challenges, and feeling “different” without understanding why. A diagnosis can:
✅ Provide access to therapy and support services.
✅ Help girls understand their unique strengths and challenges.
✅ Prevent misdiagnoses of anxiety, depression, or personality disorders.
✅ Allow for accommodations in school or work environments.
✅ Improve self-esteem by helping them connect with the neurodivergent community.
What to Do If You Suspect Autism in Your Daughter
If you recognize signs of autism in your child, take these steps:
1️⃣ Track behaviors → Keep notes on social struggles, sensory sensitivities, and special interests.
2️⃣ Seek a professional evaluation → Ask for a referral to a specialist (developmental pediatrician, psychologist, or neurologist).
3️⃣ Advocate for your child → If your concerns are dismissed, push for further assessments.
4️⃣ Join support communities → Connect with other parents who have daughters with autism.
5️⃣ Educate yourself and your child → Learn more about autism in girls and provide resources that help her understand her unique brain.
6️⃣ Encourage self-acceptance → Help her embrace her neurodiversity and recognize her strengths.
Final Thoughts
Autistic girls often go unseen and unheard because their traits don’t always match traditional autism stereotypes. By recognizing the signs and advocating for better diagnostic understanding, we can ensure these girls receive the support they need to thrive.
💡 Want more insights? Explore our resources on autism, ADHD, and neurodivergent parenting. You’re not alone on this journey!
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Hi there! This is a wonderful post, very informative and full of great information. I am including this post in my “Weekly Roundup” ! Thank you for this!
Thank you so much, Vicky! I will be sure to check out your blog 🙂 It’s always nice to connect with fellow bloggers.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and comparison on #ShareWithMe this week. I never thought to look at it differently from a boy or girl perspective. With girls having strong or outward hormones as we age I wonder if this affects autism more. Hope to see you and your blog again soon on SWM.
I am an autistic girl myself. We really need to be recognized! The chameleon function is often stronger in sanguine and melancholic females, so temperament is another thing to take into account.
I was not aware of the Chameleon Function but that is definitely something I’m going to look into further.
[…] I have heard many, many times that recognizing and diagnosing Autism in girls can be tricky. Recognizing Girls on the Autism Spectrum is a very good post that points out many ways Autism is often missed in girls. 4. This post How […]
I have a daughter who has aspergers. She was diagnosed at age seven years old. She would hand flap and have meltdowns all the time and she still does. She is 32 years old and is married. I have a question. I have a grandson who is 5years old. He rocks a lot and I noticed that he walks on his toes but not all the time. Can he have Autism since my daughter has Autism?
Hi Lori,
There is a possibility. A strong possibility if you’re familiar with recent research on genetics + autism. But, I wouldn’t say with 100% certainty that he is autistic. There is still the possibility.