Though most days, I wouldn’t trade what I do for the world- there are definitely times that I question why I choose to stay at home.
Let’s face it, it’s not for everyone and every single moment is not wonderful.
This is my second stint as a stay at home mom, my first coming after Sweet B was born.
I was a different person then and I was at a different period in my life. But that’s neither here nor there. Eventually I did end up going back to work, but with Squeaker, I want to stay at home longer. Still, that leads me to wonder, is being a stay at home mom worth it? Granted, yes, I’ve gotten into blogging and we’re considering homeschooling. I’m also looking into work at home ventures to help support until I can really get the blog going.
Is being a stay at home mom worth it?
Well, I think that’s a personal decision and one that you and your spouse or you and your significant other need to make. Sometimes it may be worth it to have someone there and to balance out the expenses. But sometimes it may be more beneficial to have two incomes coming in.
When I was still pregnant, Kyle and I discussed whether or not I would return to work or stay at home with Squeaker. We realized, from past experience, that if I did go back to work most of my paycheck would end up going to daycare expenses. And if that was the case, it didn’t make sense to either of us to put her in daycare.
That and I wanted the opportunity to breastfeed her for as long as possible and I figured that it would be easier if I stayed at home with her.
I also realized that staying at home meant being able to be there for Sweet B when she was off from school and not having to take a day off or find other arrangements.
But why is being a stay at home mom worth it for our family?
For us, it meant determining what our income sources were and if we could really afford it.
Had I opted to go back to work, I would have had a part time schedule with decent pay. That wasn’t something that I was looking to change because I needed to be here to get Sweet B off the bus after school.
But, would my part time pay really amount to anything for expenses?
Yes and no.
It would help with utilities and other bills.
But it wouldn’t begin to offset the cost of daycare for Squeaker.
That and I really wanted the opportunity to enjoy her and enjoy her childhood.
And, at the time, I was also in the midst of obtaining my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. But, ultimately, I ended up heading in a different direction as my career goals started to shift.
Do you attach a monetary value to your worth as a stay at home mom?
I would highly advise that you avoid this train of thought. Reason being? It can be dangerous and disheartening. Your worth is beyond monetary.
But, if you need to see the numbers, let’s consider this:
Here’s a basic job description for a stay at home mom:
- Teacher
- Chef
- Event Planner
- Housekeeper
- Accountant
- Chauffeur
Now, that’s basic.. and some moms might do more, some might do less.
So what does that all add up to salary wise?
- The low range for a daycare teacher starts at $9.91/hour
- The low range for a housekeeper starts at $8.15/hour
- The low range for a short order cook starts at $7.97/hour
- The low range for an event planner starts at $11.65/hour
- The low range for an accountant starts at $14.01/hour
- The low range for a chauffeur starts at $9.22/hour
Keeping in mind that we aren’t doing all of these things at once, let’s break it down further:
- 4 hours daily as a chauffeur = $36.88
- 4 hours daily as a housekeeper = $32.60
- 10 hours daily as a daycare teacher = $99.10
- 5 hours daily as a short order cook = $39.85
Your daily salary = $208.43
Your weekly salary = $1,042.15
Your monthly salary = $4,168.60
That doesn’t include the event planning, we’ll say 5 hours per month = $58.25
And accountant (if you’re doing budgeting monthly) 2 hours per month = $28.02
All total = $4,254.87/month
Oh wait! I forgot… silly me. You don’t get weekends off.
Your weekly salary = $1,459.01
Your monthly salary = $5,836.04
All total = $5,922.31
Now, keep in mind, those numbers are on the low end of the pay scale. And it’s not factoring in all the other things that you do as a mom.
Why Being a Stay At Home Mom Is Worth It
With both V and Sweet B being premature and having needs, it meant days filled with therapists in and out of the house. And then when they were both old enough, they were off to preschool for further early intervention services.
So even though I was a stay at home mom, it was never really just us.
With Squeaker, on the other hand, most days it’s just us.
So I get to enjoy the little things and I get to play with her. And I remember watching, in anticipation, as V or Sweet B would just miss their milestones or hit them late.
But with Squeaker?
The non-monetary value of being a stay at home mom
That was my sweet Squeaker in February of 2014, working on tummy time.
Through every nerve wrecking, painstaking month of her development- I got to be there. Every moment, every milestone, every little thing- I got to be there.
I got to facilitate this.
Of course I still voiced my concerns to Kyle about whether or not Squeaker would regress like her older sister. And so far she hasn’t. But even if she does, I’ll be prepared for it.
With Squeaker, I can resurrect plans of homeschooling and I can just enjoy the little things and the every day things. Even if we only homeschool preschool, I can still plan for this.
Not that I didn’t with Sweet B or V, but with Squeaker it is decidedly different.
So for as much as she does, occasionally, get on my nerves I remind myself she’s just being a child. And she’s curious about everything. She’s sweet and affectionate, stubborn and persistent, observant and smart.
How I measure my worth as a stay at home mom
She is why, to me, being a stay at home mom is worth it.
I get to be there for practically everything.
And more often than not, I’m learning just as much from her as I hope that she’s learning from me.
Kori
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HI Kori!
Found you over at Creative K Kids! Speaking as a stay-at-home mom for 27 years…I’ll also answer your question with a resounding YES!!
It’s really encouraging to see someone from your generation feel the same way…and Squeaker is THE sweetest!! <3
Thanks for sharing your story…and stay strong: you are SO doing the right thing!!!
Thank you so much Pat 🙂
So far, she is very much worth staying home and I see no reason to stop anytime soon.
Visiting from the shine blog hop. Love following along with your thought process here. We live just north of Albany and also homeschool. Will be looking forward to checking out more of your blog. Have a great day.
Well, it’s nice to “meet” you almost neighbor 🙂
It isn’t always an easy decision, but our reasons are similar to yours in many ways. For me to work full-time out of the home means a daycare bill, likely a high one because our parenting philosophy is important to us. For me to work also means, less me at home because my schedule likely wouldn’t be very stable sometimes even at the drop of a dime, literally. Also, it means struggling with our finances in a very different way than we do now. On a personal level, I think me going back to work full-time changes my mothering, because… Read more »
With my older daughter I worked in daycare and I think that was one of the mistakes I made. It was taxing, going to work with kids all day then with my own kids at home.
Staying at home has definitely been the best choice for us.
And thank you for sharing your reasons as well 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you more about it being draining to work with young children during the day & coming home at night to your own little ones. I also worked daycare in management for many years while bringing both of my children with me. It was great because I knew where they were but also stressful trying to find a good balance. I worked so many hours and didn’t really see my kids during the day and had major mommy guilt! I am now a stay at home mom for 3 months and am already loving it! I finally… Read more »
Absolutely! I know staying at home isn’t for everyone and I know it doesn’t work for everyone, either. But I wouldn’t trade this for the world.
Hey Kori, I saw this post from Hearts for Home Blog Hop. I think this is the burning question in every Mom’s heart. And, if a Momma works, it’s “Is it worth it to work?” Like you, I went back to work a bit later with my first, and, like you, with our second (who we don’t have yet but hopefully will one day!) I would like to stay home. I think it is fair to say when you first become a Mom, I think it takes at least a year to figure out what you REALLY want to work… Read more »
Yeah.. it’s definitely not an easy decision to make and there’s no saying that you can’t change your mind eventually, if it doesn’t work out.
It’s a tough one, and we get pulled in so many directions. I went back to work with my first two, but then decided not to after we had our third. I haven’t regretted that for a minute, but there are days when staying home is really hard! I think whatever decision we make about working, or not, we need to be true to ourselves and what’s best for us and our children, and after that, it’ll work out x #shinebloghop
Absolutely! What works for one mom may not work for another. And that’s true for us stay at home moms, too. Even though we’re stay at home moms, we’re still different depending on how many kids we have, what type of job our significant other may have, etc.
Aww, this is lovely.
I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for 2 1/2 years and I feel so fortunate that this is my life. I get to watch my children grow, I get to homeschool them, I get to spend my day with them. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely weekend.
xoxo
I couldn’t imagine being away from my kids. They grow so fast, I didn’t want to miss a thing. I stayed at home with them from the beginning. Working from home part-time seems to be the best fit for my personality. Shared it with my friends on google +. (I discovered you at Nourishing Joy link up).
Yeah, I’m looking into work at home options myself. I really don’t want to miss a thing with my youngest.
I love how honest you are about your feelings. Being a stay-at-home mom has been the best decision I have ever made for me, but I know it is not for everybody. Thanks for sharing at #mommymeetupmondays!
I’ve been home with my baby for 2 years now and most days it’s pure joy! I love seeing him reach his milestones and watch his silly personality at work. Then there is the bad days where he just isn’t having it – any of it – and those are the days I want to drop him off on someone’s doorstep and just crawl into bed…for the rest of my life. Since he’s 2 now, I’m starting to consider my options: should I enroll him in VPK at 3 part time and maybe work part time? Should I continue to… Read more »
Yes, Lissette- I need to take time for myself too. It’s one of those things that’s so easy to neglect
Love this! I’m not a mom, but my mom stayed home with us the whole time we were growing up. It made such a difference – I loved having her around all the time! Your kids will thank you for it…maybe not now, but eventually! <3
Stopping by from Tuesday Talk. 🙂
🙂 My mom worked and/or was in Law school and my cousins.. my aunt stayed at home for them. So I just have to wonder how it will impact things.
hi there, If you’re financially able, being a stay at home mom is a great thing especially when kids are young.
Oh yes 🙂 I am enjoying (mostly) every minute of it!
Oh yes! I think being “rich” or being “poor” is really a mindset. And we’re all rich in regards to what we have as long as we appreciate what we have, you know?
Hi Kori, I definitely agree that being a SAHM is worth it. Even if you have to do a little sacrificing. Really does working really pay, if you have more than 1 child. Unless you make fabulous bucks!
God bless ya, girl.
Here from HomeMattersParty.