If you have taken the difficult decision to go through a divorce, one of the most challenging aspects of this is bound to be exactly what you should be telling the kids. Handling this situation properly can help to ease what is bound to be a very difficult situation. Of course, everything depends very much on the age of your kids, but here, we are going to talk through some general advice to help you deal with this task a little bit better.
Plan the Discussion
Rather than diving straight into the discussion having made little or no preparation at all, you should instead make sure that you have planned out what you are going to say and how you will handle the situation. You should try to anticipate what some of their more challenging questions are going to be, as well as the emotions which you are likely to be facing. You should always have this discussion together with your former partner. Which leads us onto the next point…
Act Like a Team
We all know that divorce isn’t easy. But it becomes all the more challenging if you are battling against each other when you are explaining the situation to your kids. The most important fact to emphasize is that your love for your kids has not diminished in any way. You should also make it clear that you have taken this decision together, and it is one which is going to be a good thing for both you and your kids in the long-run.
Be Age Appropriate
The type of discussion which you will be having should depend very much on the age of your kids. For example, if you have preschoolers, they are not likely to ask for complex emotional reasoning, and everything will probably come back to exactly how their lives will be affected. Slightly older kids are able to understand emotional reasoning a little bit better, but you probably don’t want to be entirely blunt with them. As for teenagers, this can often be the most challenging conversation, but you owe it to them to give them some idea of what the real reasons are in a way which is non-blaming.
Explain Practical Changes
When it comes to practical changes, you should be aiming at consistency as much as possible and check out these things to know if you’re filing for divorce. Obviously, it is likely that one of you will be moving out, but you should try to give some notice of this event if you can. You should work to keep familiar activities the same such as any clubs which they are involved in, friends which they see on a regular basis, other activities etc. Ultimately, you should be trying to free your kids’ minds of worry as much as possible.
Explaining divorce to kids is inevitably going to lead to a host of challenges, but these are just some of the ways in which you can ease the transition as much as possible.
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