Tips for Making and Maintaining Friendships: A Neurodivergent Parent’s Guide
Making and maintaining friendships as a neurodivergent parent can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. Social interactions often come with their own set of challenges, but forming meaningful connections is essential for our well-being. As someone who has navigated the complexities of friendship while juggling the demands of parenting and neurodivergence, I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. Let’s dive into practical tips, personal stories, and some nostalgic 80s/90s pop culture references to make the journey a bit more fun.
Understanding the Challenges
Before we dive into the tips, it’s important to acknowledge the unique challenges neurodivergent individuals may face in forming and maintaining friendships. Social cues can be tricky, sensory overload can make socializing exhausting, and finding like-minded individuals who understand our experiences can be daunting. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Think of it like an episode of The Goonies—we’re all in this adventure together, seeking out our own treasures of friendship.
Tips for Making Friendships
- Embrace Your Interests One of the best ways to meet like-minded people is through shared interests. Whether it’s joining a book club, a crafting group, or an online community for your favorite 90s TV show (I see you, fellow Daria fans!), finding a common ground can make conversations flow naturally.
Personal Story: I found some of my closest friends through an online group dedicated to Studio Ghibli movies. Our shared love for Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle led to deeper connections and a supportive community where we could be our authentic selves. - Take Small Social Steps Diving into large social gatherings can be overwhelming. Start small by attending local meetups or joining smaller groups. It’s like playing a video game—start at level one and gradually work your way up as you become more comfortable.
Personal Story: I used to dread large social events until I started attending smaller, more manageable meetups. I found that intimate gatherings allowed me to connect more deeply with people and made the prospect of socializing less daunting.
Maintaining Friendships
- Communicate Openly Open and honest communication is key to maintaining friendships. Share your needs and boundaries with your friends. If you need a break from socializing or if a particular environment is too overwhelming, let them know.
Personal Story: My best friend since 8th grade has always provided a judgment-free space for sharing. We have an understanding that sometimes I need to cancel plans last minute due to sensory overload. This openness has strengthened our bond over the years. - Quality Over Quantity It’s not about having a large number of friends but about having meaningful connections. Focus on nurturing a few close friendships rather than spreading yourself too thin.
Personal Story: I’ve made a handful of neurodivergent friends online, and we joke about meeting up one day. Even though we haven’t met in person, the depth of our conversations and the support we provide each other is incredibly valuable.
Practical Tips for Nurturing Friendships
- Schedule Regular Check-Ins Life can get busy, especially as a parent. Schedule regular check-ins with your friends, whether it’s a weekly phone call, a monthly coffee date, or even a quick text to say hello.
Personal Story: My friends and I have a standing monthly video call where we catch up on life, share funny stories, and provide support. It’s like our own little version of Friends—minus the Central Perk. - Create Comfortable Social Environments Host gatherings in environments where you feel comfortable. It could be a quiet coffee shop, a park, or even a virtual hangout. Make sure it’s a space where you can be yourself and enjoy the company of your friends.
Personal Story: I often invite friends over for movie nights featuring our favorite 80s and 90s films. It’s a relaxed setting where we can enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of a noisy or crowded environment. - Be Patient and Kind Friendships take time to develop and require effort from both sides. Be patient with yourself and your friends. Understand that everyone has their own challenges and that’s okay.
Personal Story: There have been times when I’ve felt insecure about my social skills, but my friends have always been understanding and supportive. We’ve learned to give each other grace and patience, which has strengthened our connections.
Conclusion
Making and maintaining friendships as a neurodivergent parent can be challenging, but it’s entirely possible with the right approach. Embrace your interests, take small social steps, communicate openly, and focus on quality over quantity. Remember, friendships are about meaningful connections and mutual support. With a bit of patience, kindness, and maybe a few 80s/90s movie references, you can build lasting friendships that enrich your life.
So, channel your inner Goonie, take on the adventure of friendship, and remember—you’re unfiltered and unstoppable. Happy connecting!
Kori
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