I want to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me:
How stressed are you?
And yes, dear mom, it is okay to admit to being stressed.
In fact, I would be slightly more concerned if you weren’t dealing with any sort of stress.
Because, let’s face it — being a mom is stressful.
Being a stay at home mom is stressful.
Is it rewarding? Yes, of course it is.
But it’s also stressful.
So what can we really do about this?
For starters, you can check out my series of posts on dealing with Mom Stress:
How to Deal with Mom Stress as a Stay at Home Mom
Just remember this mom: you are not being selfish by taking time for yourself.
Mom stress is a real thing and it’s high time that we acknowledged that.
Yes, we love our kids.
Yes, we love our families.
But we also need to love ourselves.
Why Parenting and Stress Go Hand in Hand
There are very few things in life like parenting, and very few things in life that lead to such incredible stress.
It seems stress and parenting all too often go hand in hand. But with a little forethought and planning, this doesn’t have to be the case.
Yes, raising children takes more patience than almost any thing else you will ever encounter in life, but there is no reason that it should be the thing that drives you completely batty! Yes, it is challenging and can at times cause you to wonder how you are going to manage but stress and parenting do not have to be tied at the hip.
Stress is a mental and physical condition that occurs when you try to deal with the issues that must be dealt with and yet you feel incapable of doing so.
It almost describes parenting to a tee! There are many situations that you will encounter as a parent that you know you must undertake and press through, but ones in which you really believe you are truly incapable of doing so in the long term.
Parenting requires long term planning and a long term commitment to the process. Yes, there are many parental goals that leave you facing a long and time consuming path, but there is simply no need to feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed by the challenge of parenting.
There are so many resources available to you as a parent that as you work towards learning to be a better parent you can also learn to deal with those stressful situations.
As a parent it is very important that you are a realist. There are going to be plenty of times that you simply do not meet the goal that you want for yourself or your child. This is of course true in life as it is with parenting.
Take a deep breath and think about it…there are really only a very few “absolutes” or even “mandatory requirements” in parenting. This should help you to be able to sleep a bit easier tonight.
Ok, for example, educating your children is mandatory and terribly difficult. But there is not just one school that can provide the education for your child. There are lots of different options for education.
But when you are trying to make a decision about education, which is mandatory, there is no reason to have a melt down over it. Just make a decision, a well educated and well thought out decision.
Making decisions for your children should not lead to stress. While you must take these choices seriously, it you allow the stress to brew, you can experience helplessness, hopelessness, chronic worry, irritability, and even insomnia.
There are very few parenting dilemmas which are as potentially stress-inducing as a child who simply will not listen to you, especially when their behavior is unruly, irritating or even violent. But again, in this situation, as in many others, there are rarely any quick fixes.
But, if you take the time to see the challenge for what it is and learn to deal with the situation before it becomes a stressful situation then you and your family will be better adjusted in the long run. Minimizing stress is a worthwhile goal for which you should strive.
Remember even thought stress and parenting all too often seem to go hand in hand, it just is not necessary. Chronic stress is unhealthy. Make a decision to do something different to manage the stress of parenting.
Search for alternatives and solutions before you decide you have no other choice but to have a stress related meltdown.
Stress and parenting can be a thing of the past if you elect to deal with being a parent in a more constructive method.